There’s an important part of my journey which I don’t think I ever really talked about. When I grew up, I was very depressed. Depression isn’t being sad because of external circumstances. Depression is being sad even when everything external seems fine, and there doesn’t seem to be any way out. You even get numb to it after a while.

How did I overcome my depression? At the end of my studies in Quebec, when I was 19, I went to do my practical training abroad, and I asked not to go to France so I ended up in Finland. Out of 60 students, 4 went to Europe and I was the only one to go outside France. Why did I specifically wanted to go to a country that didn’t speak my language? Because the culture I grew up in wasn’t providing the answers I was seeking.

There is this idea that I could just have found the answers within myself, but here’s the thing. How can you find something within you that nobody around you has? Let’s say you lived in a country where self-love didn’t exist. How could you find self-love if you never saw or experienced it in your whole life? Traveling allowed me to get a broader experience of life.

So, what is depression? There are two types of depression. The first type is when there is too much anger and fears that have been stagnant for too long. The second type is when there is a sense of dissatisfaction with your life that grows into frustration and depression. Since the financial crash in 2008, depression has been spreading like a virus. It is the most documented disease in the world yet it is the one thing people never talk about. I’m going to talk about the second type of depression which really comes from unsatisfied desires.

I’m grateful for the depression I had while growing up. If it wasn’t for that deep depression, there’s no way I would have stepped out so far out of social norms. The majority of people evolve slowly or remain in the same unfulfilling situation their whole life, because they don’t have enough sense of urgency to take the consequences of making deep changes in their lives. Depression is the fuel that powers your transformation. It is unrefined crude oil that allows you to take off like a rocket and bypass all conditioning, fears and restrictions that normally apply to other people.

If you are depressed, be grateful for your depression. It is an essential component to your transformation and evolution. Don’t try to get rid of it, leverage it. What is seeking expression through you? What unfulfilled desires are you carrying?

It also takes some solar power to spark up the tank of crude oil to take off, and if you tank isn’t full yet, you have to compensate with more solar power. Solar power is the divine seeking expression through your heart and desires. Depression and solar power are the two forces required to move you forward in a great way.

When I came back from Finland, I stayed 1.5 years in Quebec and went back into very deep depression, up to a point where I started having suicidal thoughts. So what did I do? I sold my computer, sold my car, left my apartment, left my job and flied to Barcelona when I only could speak 3 words of Spanish. The reason I specifically wanted to go to a country that didn’t speak my language is because the culture I grew up in wasn’t providing the answers I was seeking, even though I didn’t know what I was seeking. I wanted to live life differently, and it’s not just something internal, it’s also about a different way of interacting and connecting with others around.

The kind of knowledge I came to discover is extremely different from what most people are used to. Those who do not “suffer” from depression do not have enough sense of urgency to take the consequences of shifting the foundation of their worldview to tap into that power. Dissatisfaction growing into depression is an essential key to stepping out of the norms. Depression is your key to success.

You might want to listen to this speech, it is very real and meaningful.

Etienne Charland, Emergence Guardian
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